In the process of accomplishing said house cleaning, I found a bunch of stuff I forgot I had and some stuff I couldn't even identify. That's precisely why experts say you should never watch the Home Shopping Channel while under the influence of grown up beverages or leafy, green vegetation.
For example, does anyone know what in the name of all that is plastic this thing is?

It's about four inches long and in fact not a safety pin for a giant baby diaper, as I first thought. I've shown it to everyone I know and they have no idea.
By everyone I know, of course I mean nobody but Mr. Man.
So what the heck is it? If you know, AND you tell me, AND you have the power to make me believe you, I may or may not actually send it to you via US mail. Depends on my mood and whether I believe you to be a terrorist who might use it to blow something up. (Or Bill O'Reilly. I hate Bill O'Reilly.)
FYI, ACME travel penis measuring device has been taken.
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