When did I eat algae?

I swear to you, about all I have accomplished lately with any regularity is being sick. Straight up, pukey, green, gross, sick to my stomach. I feel like I ate algae - even though I'm not entirely sure it would make me feel this sick to eat algae, It's an educated guess.


I'm supposed to go to Arizona this week for another Midlife Road Trip adventure. Because of this general state of putrid pukiness, I'm starting to be concerned. What if I am inclined to want to puke off the side of the hot air balloon or throw up when I am  rock climbing or shooting a big ass gun in the desert? I don't care how good the editor is, you can't make vomiting look good.

That's why in the 50's Colonel Tom would yell, "Chew it back, Elvis," and then he would.

I found out today I am not flying this trip but instead am driving all the mother trucking way there with two of the Midlife Road Trip crew - JD (Executive Producer~ left) & the one known only in this country as The Dude (camera god ~ right). Why I'm driving and not in an airplane this time is a long story that's not interesting in the least. All you need to know is that it's entirely OK to feel sorry for me.

In fact, I wish you would start right this minute.

I'm an excellent car-tripper. Love it. That's not really the issue. What is getting all up in my business is that me and my algae stomach are going to be trapped on four wheels with two men who will probably spend the whole trip talking about three things that will make me want to spew even more:

1. Sports (football, baseball, basketball & synchronized pudding wrestling.)
2. Women (tall ones, short ones, young ones, young ones, young ones, young ones.)
3. Gross things they have at one time or another thrown up after drinking too much. (Roasted lamb intestines, Doritos they found in their foot locker from college, and for reasons I'm sure I never want to know, an entire package of pink erasers.)

Dammit. I just made myself feel even worse. I think I am about to burp a green bubble.


Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Midlife Skydiving, Baby! Sherri Bailey SKYDIVES!

 Forty-five has never felt sooooo good!!!! Have you been skydiving? Do you want to?




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Midlife for Me Means NO MORE RULES!

 


Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

My Will - Cause I've Got a Lot of Awesome Stuff

This evening I will drive north to sleep in a place near the airport and in the morning, I fly away to the land of Flinging Myself Out of an Airplane. That's right my pretty readers, I skydive Friday.

Just in case I have a heart attack on the way down, or worse, I pee my pants and am so embarrassed I am forced to fake my own death, here's my last will and testament. Yes - I am of sound mind, but also a little stoned on Ibuprofen and enough Diet Dr. Pepper to make a lab rat grow a third ear - on it's genitals.

1. To my friends Tide & TSG - I leave everything in my bank account. You guys have been loyal readers, fans and friends for so long, I can't remember when you weren't here. If I don't buy any gum or bouncy balls prior to being dead, you kids are totally going to split a Snickers bar. 
2. To Vicky - You are a force to be reckoned with and I reckon I am infinitely lucky to have you in my corner. Were it not for you and your door kicking, I wouldn't be strapping a man to my back and jumping from a plane. To you I leave some of my most precious possessions - my false eyelashes. Every time someone swats at what they believe to be a sleeping caterpillar on your eyeball, remember me. 
3. To Phil - my GooglyEyes - I don't understand how people without a googlyeyes in their lives can even make themselves a sandwich. For your constant encouragement and wise council, I leave my collection of divorce agreements. Naturally the Smithsonian will want them, but unless they offer you enough to buy The Met, just hold onto them. They will only increase in value.
   
4. To Ry - I know how inconvenienced my untimely death will leave you and how selfish it is of me to drop dead - literally. Therefore I leave to you the bust I created in your likeness made of gum, and tears, and Crest Whitestrips. That's not weird.
5. To KK - I leave you all my Clorox Wipes & Purell Hand Sanitizers. I'm sorry that they won't last very long. I only have one closet full. 
6. To Brooke & Rachel - my Viva la Vulva DooWop Girls - My secret list of potential and future husbands along with contact information and detailed schematics laying out how you get them to marry you... that's what you're getting. You deserve it! Sorry though - my divorce punch card is full so you'll have to start your own. 
   
7. To my Midlife Road Trip friends and family - you people get NOTHING. Not one dang thing. You know good and well you shouldn't have let me pull this crazy stunt! What kind of friends are you anyway?

Watch for pictures and film coming soon. I'm almost positive I'll be jumping fully clothed, so I'll make sure you get to see it. In the meantime, check out our friends at MainSail Tampa.They are our generous hosts for this shoot and we are excited to post lots of pictures of their extraordinary property.




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Dear Marriott in Hawaii. I Wanna Win.

 It's a contest and I'm a contestant. Match made in Heaven. (And YouTube.)








Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Packing for the Midlife Road Trip!

 




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Sher's Very Bad Day

Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Midlife Road Trip Show

This is where I've been lately, kids:
http://www.midliferoadtripshow.com.


I've never wanted anything more than I want this - so I hope my precious readers and vlog viewers will pull for me. You have all supported me SO MUCH over the years and encouraged me to shoot for the stars.

Well - the Midlife Road Trip is my star.

I'll still be here on Wiping the Crazy off My face - no doubt about it. But I hope that you guys who've been so lovely to me over the years will support me in this new venture - and that you'll cross all your fingers and toes and do whatever voodoo you can - so that I might have a shot at making this dream my reality.

I love you and we'll talk again soon!




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Rick Does Sher - But Not the Way You're Thinking

So there I was, minding my own business and whatnot, when Rick Griffin sent me an attachment in my email.

"What could this be?" I thought. "Perhaps it's something wonderful, like an attached pony."

This is so not a pony.

(To see what SHER had to say about RICK & SANDI...just scroll below. All's fair in love and TV.)

Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Midlife Road Trip: Behind the Scenes

Just got back from filming in Tampa Bay, Florida and I wanted to introduce you guys to my partners in crime and TV: Rick Griffin & Sandra McKenna. (And their obsessions with Don Rickles & Nia Vardalos.)





Kids, if you can't see the video here, try YouTube. I'm not sure what the snafu might be. So sorry!



Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.