Friday, July 29, 2005

Sher, I am your luvuh!

I love dreams. Totally love them. They are like taking a little unconscious vacation. Some people don't remember a lot of what they dream, but I like to think I really do remember much of what I dream. Problem is, my dreams never make any freakin sense.

Do yours?

I am one of those annoying people that believes everything that happens is for a reason and that there are no accidents. That means that every day when I wake up, I typically have a dream to try and figure out so that I don't miss a lesson God and the universe is trying to teach me.

I'm deep like that.

Last night I had a great dream, but it's driving me nuts. So much so in fact that tonight I can't fall asleep for trying to figure it out. It's very possible that is not normal, but I don't know because I've never been normal. Tell you what, I'll tell you my dream and you email me if you know what lesson I am to learn from it.

I'll really appreciate it.

Ok. This is where you insert Wayne and Garth waving their hands around and saying, "diddle, deedle, diddle deedle".

Picture it. I'm chilling in a barn with a bunch of females who are much younger than I am and dressed in ugly, plain dresses that look like gray sacks. They all look alike...faces, hair, everything. No clue what I'm doing there, but I do know that just prior to being in the barn with them, I had been at the vet's office because I had pulled one of my Yorkie's ears off and the vet was sewing it back on.

Not to worry. The vet said Yorkie's are notorious for having their ears fall off.

Suddenly all the sack dress girls perk up the way deer do when they hear a predator in the distance. "Hide in the hay!" they yell at me. "He's coming!"

I totally hid in the hay.

I heard loud,heavy breathing and when I peeked out through the hay, there he was. Darth Vader! His mask was so shiny. I was completely impressed. He began looking through the hay, roughly pushing the ugly dress wearing girls out of the way, when he uncovered me.

He pulled me up while the girls cried for me and in a flash, we were back at his castle, which looked amazingly like a hotel lobby...complete with conference rooms. He raised his arms up over his head and I knew for sure he was going to kill me in some evil Darth Vader way. Instead, he took off his shiny helmet and rather than being a disfigured, all burned up guy, he was way handsome.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "I've been looking everywhere for you!" Although I couldn't recall having met Darth before he dug me out of the hay, I decided I loved him and would live with him forever. Before I could say anything about my deep and abiding feelings for him, he started to cry. Darth Vader was crying! How sweet is that? He said he was sorry for kidnapping me and everything, but he knew I wouldn't live happily ever after with him in his castle which looked like a hotel lobby of my own free will.

What's a girl gonna say? He said he was sorry and he was really cute and HE WAS Darth Vader and everything. "That's ok," I said.

He told me he loved me awful and wanted us to live together forever. He said I would be his dark queen and that even though he liked for people to think he was mean, he was actually a nice guy...but he would kill someone if he absolutely had to.

I could respect that.

Anyway, we walked around the castle that looked like a hotel lobby and met the gang. "Ooooh. Darth Vader has been so sad without you," everyone said. It was very sweet until someone spoke to me without bowing and then Darth shot them in the head. I could tell he felt bad about it though.

Before the dream ended when Mr. Man walked through the front door this morning and woke me up, Darth threw me a welcome home party in one of the hotel conference rooms. There were more donuts than I have ever seen and he said he knew I loved donuts and I could eat them every day if I wanted and he didn't care how fat I got because he loved me.

I don't know what your analysis will reveal, but I'm thinking maybe it means that I should bet on a horse named Darth. Or Vader. Or Donut.

HELP!



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