Sunday, December 04, 2005

Say my name.

Dear Sher,

What's going on with you? You're not writing very much any more.

Dear Person who can read and wants to read what I write,

What's going on with me? Let's see. Ummm.... on Saturday I made a huge pan of brownies with melted candy bars in the middle for Mr. Man and my son. Turns out neither of them had any intention of being around much this weekend so I may or may not have consumed a full 3/4 of the pan myself.

Regarding my writing, or the lack of it as the case may be: I'm still writing as much as I ever have. I'm just doing it in invisible computer ink.

Dear Sher,
Do you believe in Santa?

Dear Santa,
Of course I believe in you. I also believe in the Great Pumpkin, the Tooth Fairy and Elvis. However, I completely hate the Tooth Fairy and you can tell her I said it the next time you see her. What the heck is her problem anyway...leaving my best friend Adina like $5.00 under her pillow for a dinky little tooth and I only ever got maybe .50 on a good night. She's a stone cold snob.

Dear Sher,
How's your friend the evil red-headed Berta Lou? Is she still having problems with her iron?

Dear Concerned Reader,
The evil red-headed Berta Lou is all good. The problems with her iron don't matter any more as she has discovered permanent press.

Dear Sher,
Your life could be a sitcom.

Dear new best friend,
Thanks. Your life could be a menu. (I have no idea what that even means.)

Dear Sher,
I wanted to tell you I think you're funny. I found your site while I was surfing and I spent over an hour reading. I nearly peed my pants. I emailed all my friends and told them they had to read your blog, too.

Dear new best friend who just bumped the other new best friend for top position,
We're best friends 'til the end now. BFF, baby. I would totally loan you my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans if you wanted.

Let's do the Billy Bob and Angelina thing. Put some of your blood in a vial and I'll wear it around my neck and I'll send you a vial of mine. You may be surprised to see that my blood looks remarkably like cherry Kool-Aid, but's my blood.

Copyright © 2004-2005, Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

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