I'm gonna be nice and give you the top ten places I am not taking Bert and allow you to use the process of elimination. I'm nice like that.
10. I am not taking her to Ft. Knox, Kentucky as per the agreement I made with an ex-husband. He got Ft. Knox in the divorce.
9. We aren't going anywhere near an active volcano. As a matter of fact, go ahead and rule out the inactive ones as well.
8. For whatever reason, some have thought I am going to give Bert a fist full of dollars and take her to see male strippers. Nope. If any man takes off his clothes in front of us Friday night, it will be because we look that good, not because we crammed cash in his g-string.
7. If you guessed mountain climbing I would say you are stupid. The OCD Chick chooses not to sweat.
6. For those of you who guessed that our destination has anything even remotely to do with Tom Delay, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you. Apparently you think I am way smarter than I know I am.
5. Bert and I are not going to a place that would require us to wear gingham and do-si-do. (Even though I know how much she would like that and even though the OCD Chick doll comes with her own gingham accessories.)
4. There will be no roller skates, ice skates or cheap skates.
3. Animals and any smells that might be caused as a result of said animals are not part of the game plan Friday night.
2. We are NOT sleeping in the car. I learned my lesson, OK?
1. We are not going to Wheeling, West Virginia. Believe me when I tell you I'd really love to, but I may or may not be wanted in Wheeling for a particularly heinous crime I may or may not have committed involving an ice cream scoop and bread ties.
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