Saturday, September 23, 2006

No one gets near my inbox without a ring. Or a canned ham.

Dear Sher,

Dear Excited CAPS LOVER!!!!
I love and miss you as well and I still can't help to say you are soooo right about me being soooo funny. (Who are you?)

Dear Sher,
I really enjoy reading your columns on Sanity Central. I'm also a humor writer, with a column called Airing My Dirty Laundry, and I wondered if you'd like to exchange links. Check out my columns at and, if you would, let me know if you'd like to do a link swap. Thanks!!
Jackie Papandrew

Dear Jackie,
Consider yourself swapped.

Dear Sher,
Hello! I was doing some research on column writing on the net a few months ago and found you. I so enjoy your writing. My favorite has to be the one concerning the strange guy who you unsuspectingly opened your front door to find standing on your porch. I laugh everytime I read it. Just wanted to say thank you for making my days a little better. Be well.

Dear Person whose days are a little better all thanks to me and why wouldn't they be,

I see that guy like every week or so in my town. Freaks me out every time. As I happen to believe that no one crosses our path by accident and that every one who continues to show up in our lives for no good reason is actually there to teach us something, I guess I should just face him and figure it out, huh? (I seriously need to stop reading so many books by the Dali Lama. I can't even squish a spider now.)

So long as I'm all philosophical, you should know I also believe children are our future. Teach them well and let them all be gay. Wait a minute. Let them Tangueray. Ummmmm. This is awkward.

Dear Sher,
Having just found your web site and read a lot of it, you definitely get my vote as the next Erma Bombeck. Love your work.

Dear Guy who loves me,
Was that a proposal? If you've really read a lot of it, you know any string of nouns and vowels strung together by a man in any form... be they words in an email or drunken declarations of love right before they pass out and pee on themselves... I consider to be a legal and binding proposal of marriage. I'll see you in June, 2029, Sport. (That's the next husband opening I have. Booked solid 'til then.) xoxoxoxoxo

Dear Sher,
Why aren't you writing? Too busy for us?! Hope everythings okay and look forward to your next column!

Dear Nosy Reader,
You remind me of Darla in "Finding Nemo" who shook the life out of the plastic baggie holding Nemo and screamed, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?".

I haven't written because the letter "e" on my computer was in the shop and I couldn't afford the outrageous cost of repair, OK? Happy now that I'm all embarrassed?

Good, good stuff.

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