Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Stuff I know my husband doesn't.

1. Our dryer has a lint filter.

2. As we are a working class people, we do not own a self-cleaning toilet.

3. Similarly, if there is a magic toilet paper dispenser that refills itself without any assistance from human hands, our family has yet to purchase such a wonder.

4. "Hey Baby, I just took a shower" is not foreplay.

5. Neither are the words, "I can't sleep," or "There is nothing on TV".

6. In many civilized societies, when one person in a relationship has worked all day, shuffled one child or several here, there & yonder and yet has still found the time to prepare a meal, the other person offers to do the dishes. The absence of a properly typed and notarized request is not license to say, "I didn't know you wanted me to do them".

7. What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom.

8. Mastercard is not French for, "Unlimited money forever".

9. Unless Paris Hilton is spotted at a trendy New York nightclub wearing them, laundry detergent, shampoo and paper towels are not luxury items on which women enjoy spending money every chance they get.

10. Barring some recent and grossly under publicized breakthrough in the world of human anatomy, men do not use tampons. The check out girl at Wal-Mart knows they are not for you. Just do it already.

Gots to love it. Gots to.

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