Thursday, October 04, 2007

The art of the Toad Suck.

If you've been around this blog very long, you know how much I appreciate a good stalker. I realize a lot of people fear stalkers, but I don't get that. In my opinion, nothing says lovin' like having someone obsessed with you in a completely unnatural and absolutely unhealthy way.

Unless they kidnap you, put you in a hole and pay way too much attention to your skin's hydration, that is. Then it just becomes awkward.

Someone once emailed me and ask to be put on my "to be stalked" list. Clearly that person does not read this blog or he/she would know that I personally do not stalk. I'm way too self involved for that. The only exception to that rule of course is Michael Buble and the occasional firefighter. I have no problem hiding in bushes for the hope that I might catch a glimpse of one of the above doing something stalk-worthy.

The official stalker of the OCD Chick is none other that the Toad Suck Guy himself. For information, I bestowed that name upon him when he invited me to some sort of Toad Suck festival in a city and state where Toad Sucking is apparently done on a professional level. I've never met TSG and although I suspect he is in reality in prison somewhere doing life for killing a humor writer, I appreciate his dedication to the fine art of stalking. (He was recently almost fired from the job however because he insinuated I should perhaps do some reciprocal stalking...which I believe we have established I do not do.)

Head on over there and check out his latest blog entry and you'll see why he's slowly, but surely, moving up my potential husband list. He's a very, very funny guy and he uses big words for no good reason which is always a plus with me.

Have a happy Toad Suck adventure!

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SavingDiva said...

I've recently tried to stalk an ex-boyfriend...but it isn't going well...mainly because I don't know where he

Anonymous said...

Prison? No Way! I'm very proud of the fact that I was never convicted on any of the charges.

So do I move up to #nine on the PHL? I realize of course one can be sent back up the list for causing you the slightest displeasure.

I see the plan here, but still stop by now and then.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and my use of big words was indubidly proliferated per my Grandfather Sir Thomasical Gergantiunation II, in a display of incomparable hyperpunctiliousness. Unequivocally there was unambiguous astronomical day when Gergantiunation excogitated the conglomerate erudition of paraphernalia. Notwithstanding he was insensate Gergantiunation conceived in envisageing deductive that diacritic conceivably permitted sonorousness perspicacious by commissioning morphemes that bagatelle posterior kumtux. A dexterous consummatent and stupid were consanguineous!

Mr. Man said...

TSG, Trust me, and please heed my warning. You never want to make it into the single digits on Shers PHL. #11 or possibly #10 is good, but make it to #9 and the world slowly starts fading away.

Sher said...

Saving Diva,
Stupid ex-boyfriend. Don't they know they need to fill out the appropriate change of stalking address card?

I don't even know what to say. Wow. I'm saying wow.

Mr. Man,
You are in soooo much trouble. So much.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Man

I believe I was at number 11 at last tally where I will endeavor to remain for the time being.

I appreciate the warning, and I will certainly take your advice, as I realize what you risked to just insure my well being. It is not often a stranger will put his life on the line for another. Thank you.