Tuesday, September 29, 2009

And a one and a two and a ..... oink.

My life is a whirlwind right now. The good, the bad and the ugly has got me by the genitals and is slinging me around.

Not really by the genitals, but I really wanted to use that word tonight so I had to work it in somehow.

The good: all the footage we shot on my trip to Tampa for our TV show is in the hands of the world's most brilliant editor. I saw about 5 minutes of it yesterday and I LOL'd. It wasn't even that fake LOL that I sometimes do when really I'm just sort of smiling, or at best softly chortling.

The bad: my son is sick and also injured his ankle at football tonight. He's not going to be wheelchair bound or sitting on the sidewalk playing a harmonica and asking for food or anything, so don't openly cry for us quite yet. The bitch of the news here though is that he was exposed to Swine Flu and so now we are all sort of standing around waiting to be swiney.

"Did you just cough? Cause I couldn't tell if it was a real cough or if you sounded like Miss Piggy coughing."

The ugly: my enormous ass in the footage mentioned in "The good". Seriously, I am distraught at my completely gargantuan ass. Like I wake up thinking about my ass and apparently I'm getting ready to go to bed to think about my ass some more. Yes, I knew I'd put on some weight as a result of a lovely little pill I'm taking that does wonderful things for your brain, but sometimes makes the rest of you look like you live in a trailer park. It just didn't hit me between the eyes until I saw myself waddling around no film.

On one hand: never been happier.

On the other hand: my ass. Which is too big for just one hand.

Help me Tom Cruise. I'm exhausted.

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Tidewaterbound said...

Oh, you do NOT have a gianormous ass, so shut up. You are so pretty if I didn't adore you, I'd hate your guts.

(Hey, it's my kinda best compliment)


Sher said...

I can't wait for the day that I get to hug your neck.

Up2DaRack said...

Your ass is just too cute for one hand ma'am. ;-)

And, well, if my wife should ever read this comment, I just want to say... O U C H ! ! ! Er... I was only trying to say... OUCH! Put that Rolling pin down now! Ya see, I was ... Ouch dammit!!!

Er... um... gotta run - catch you later maybe. Do you think they have wireless in the ER???


Sher said...

I just wanna say thank you for your willingness to get your own ass beat in an effort to compliment mine. xoxo

beadthreader said...

You may have already mentioned this, but when will your show come on TV, what channel and what time? You are hilarious and I cannot wait to see it!

Sher said...

Thank you Beadthreader! As soon as I have those details, y'all will definitely be the first to know. I sure appreciate that you're gonna watch. xoxo

Tidewaterbound said...

I will save it, video the TV if I have to. I cannot wait to see it, I am just thankful you survived JUMPING OUT OF A FREAKIN' AIRPLANE...did you lose your mind?

And when you jumped were you wearing a pair of your favorite lucky 'new' white socks, as I remember are your secret vice? And did you take along your Clorox wipes?

Psst--and Phil, I think your wife would give you a pass on this one, just cuz I think she'd love our Sher too!

Sher said...

I haven't jumped yet, Tide. That is soon to come. Ick.

Thank you sweetie pie. You're just the best.

writerchick47 said...

I only have two words to say regarding your ass:


That's actually like one and a half, isn't it?

(PS. Phil's a keeper, eh? How many guys would get THEIR ass beat to compliment YOUR ass?)