Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm in love.
Not at all what I had planned on that trip to see my Kitten.
I was, and am, so full of love and joy that it's almost impossible to describe. It's hard to imagine myself as a Grandma - I'll admit to that feeling. I think it's because the Grandma of all Grandmas, my Maw-Maw Rosie, (after whom Kitten is named) set the standard in every way - to include how a Grandma is supposed to look and act.
The idea of buying polyester, sensible shoes and learning to love driving 17 miles below the speed limit do not set well with me.
But when I think of this tiny person that is on her way (yes... I think it's a girl for no good reason), I sort of float. I feel so full of this big, big love and bubbly joy that I can't even find the appropriate words to describe it.
My life has rarely been easy. It has been full of missteps and pain and confusion. Sometimes as I look back it feels as though I've battled innumerable demons just to breathe in and out. Countless times I questioned the point of it all.
That stick. The one with the faint, pink, line. It means there is sense in it. It means perfect things come to imperfect people.
I am truly, truly blessed. I love you, Kitten.
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