I'm thankful for my friends - but only the ones who are thankful for me. The rest of them can suck it.
I'm thankful there is no pie in my house right now because I would surely eat the entire thing for "breakfast".
I'm thankful I can see colors. I remember meeting a color blind guy once and for some reason, I've never forgotten him. I should have married him, or at least asked him his name.
I'm thankful for my friend Ryland. She makes me snort and shoot milk out my nose daily, which is even more difficult than you would think because I don't drink milk.
I'm thankful for my friend The Evil Red-Headed Berta Lou. She encourages me to be bad while at the same time giving me that "stop being so bad" look. It keeps me balanced.
I'm thankful for my Midlife Road Trip posse - Rick, Sandi & JD. I am so in love with the three of them, I long for the day when I can marry a group of people instead of just one at a time.
I'm thankful for my friend Mark because he's been around for longer than at least 3/4 of my husbands. I foresee the two of us being in a nursing home and still calling each other by our pet names - Fuckstick and Fucktard.
I'm thankful for Mr. Man. He's tall, and he's handsome, and he's manly, and he's supportive. Even though he has a cane now, he has never struck me with it and I think that shows the kind of deep love he has for me because not beating one another with a cane wasn't even in our vows.
I'm thankful for my son, Big Dog and my daughter, Kitten. I know you think you have perfect kids, but truly, mine are ridiculously perfect. They are both clever and wonderful and HILARIOUS. Even if I didn't push them both out my vajiminy, I would still want to know them. That's how crazy awesome they are.
I'm thankful for BD & Willie - because I can't imagine my life without the two of them in it.
I'm thankful for the tiny jelly bean that is growing arms & legs & hopefully my sense of humor inside my daughter's tummy right now. I love easily - I'll admit it and I'm not ashamed of it. But this love I have for that tiny thing, without ever having seen his or her face, is something I can't even adequately describe. I'm beyond blessed.
And finally, I'm thankful for those of you who have stood by me through the years, coming here to read what I have to say, or watch me make a fool of myself in my vlogs. I don't deserve you, but I'm thankful to have you.
Copyright © Sherri Bailey
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