If you're a new reader, you may want to meet TSG - the official WTCOMF stalker so you're up to speed. He's been around the blog a long time.
I've been reminiscing over some of your old posts, and our many virtual adventures. Things have sure changed over the last three or four years. You accurately predicted the end of my carefree bachelor days (at the tender age of 45) early on, when I first met Jane and you nicknamed her PJ. Why you chose "Poor Jane" when she is SO fortunate to have me, I still haven't figured out. And she likes sleeveless shirts!
I was reading some of your advice regarding "Spaz" and her visit. Good stuff. The episode with "Chaw", as Jami named him, was pretty good too. Just not having as much fun now. And I expected that when the OM retired. Just not much funny stuff to write about anymore. Sad and, as I mentioned, the old Rollahome is gone. I burnt it in three piles, and PJ shoved the remains into a hole I had dug. She seemed to enjoy that a lot.
Gone are my dreams of you and I residing happily in the "Old Rollahome" in wedded hillbilly bliss, eating Liver Mush, for at least 3 or 4 months, until the divorce, or you killed me. I figure I'd never make it past hunting season, bringing in those critters for you to cut-up. Perhaps when I ascend the to the top of the PHL, I can find another 1968 mobile home of the same quality, only with running water. I've gotten used to that now and kinda like it.
It will soon be time for Fudd to start doing float trips, and get this, PJ is going to be working running the commissary boat, helping set up camp and cooking while I am working! I've created a monster. She loves the outdoors. We won't have to worry about that will we. Fudd Dosen't even seem to mind that PJ is going to help when I can't. Should I be concerned here?
I miss the old days. No cares, and responsibilities. No Sisters around 24-7 (that's another story) but not a funny one.
Got any advice?
Your devoted stalker,
You know when I think about it, I realize you and I have been together as stalker and stalkee longer than I have had most of my husbands. Which leads me to ask, where are my monthly checks? And why don't I have half your stuff?
Now that we have the legalities out of the way, I have to tell you that I understand why you feel there is nothing funny to write about any more. Marriage is often like having a fork thrust repeatedly in your eye while being asked to talk about your feelings. Personally I'd take the forking over the feelings any day.
The key to finding the funny amid the wedded bliss is to create your own funny situations. I'll give you a couple examples. Sometimes when Mr. Man is asleep, I get a giggle out of shaving off his eyebrows and drawing new ones on with a black Sharpie. Another fun thing I do to bring the laughter back into my life is to crawl up under his car and cut the brake lines.
The last time I did that, we laughed and laughed in the emergency room. Well, I laughed and laughed but with all the tubes they had up his nose and down his throat, he couldn't really laugh out loud. He was laughing with his eyes though.
So you see what I'm saying here, TSG? You have to make your own fun in marriage. Either that or pay Fudd in beer and chew to take PJ off your hands. They can float away to happiness and you can spend much more time doing what's truly important in life - stalking me.
Yours until they throw you back in prison,
Copyright © Sherri Bailey
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