I will be sending you a check ASAP, it will be a big check and by big I mean like Happy won after each golf tournament. Enjoy! Oh yeah and if the bank actually cashes one of my checks you must split the proceeds with me.
I anxiously await your check. If the bank won't accept it, I'll take it to Wal-Mart. Maybe they'll cash it.
Sher,I tried to slip your name in on the payroll so you could get a check every week but that didn't work. Anyway, you would have to come in and pick it up. I thought maybe we could mail it out, but you really wouldn't want Anna to have your address.
Um, I'm not rich or know anyone who is...at least you have curtains for heaven's sake. But I can send you a kitten and for a change of pace, how about I mail you a case of Ramen noodles?
TSG- You're the boss, aren't you? Whaddya mean you can't mail me a check? You best get to embezzling son.Tide- Keep the kitty; send the Ramen. I could use a change.
Yeah, she curtains, but why is she wearing them?
Analease - I wear them because I am POOR!!!!
Sher, I just got off the phone with someone famous - he's the assistant manager of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe lawn mower repair shop. I told him to chat you up with all his customers. Heck he gets at least 12 or 13 old timers in the shop each month! As you know, I'm in finance, an industry that is not in good graces lately. So I went to the bank to borrow some money to tide you over until you're famous, but they laughed their asses off at the idea that I thought a bank would actually have any money. I then decided to pan-handle on your behalf - selling pencils from a tin cup on the street corner. But a roving gang of unemployed investment bankers and hedge fund managers beat me up and ran off with the $2.12 I worked so hard to raise. I'll think of something else tomorrow - I promise!Hard times funny lady! Hard times.
Up2Da - I cannot thank you enough for trying to drone up some fame and fortune for me.Not for nothing- but could you please not mention you're in finance when you come to my blog? I try to run a nice place here and I don't want any rioting. xoxo
Sher, I got this letter earlier today. I think it could really help!Dear (for our purposes) Sher,My name is BLAHBLAHBLAH from Nigeria. I need your help desperately. I need to move my $50brazillion dollars out of corrupt Nigeria government bank lending shops. This money was left to me by my father's brother's great aunt's left arm's brother. If you can help, I will split my finances with you.Please send me your name, address, bank account number, credit card number, driver card, shoe size and hair sample and we will immediately get to moving the moneys around.You will not regret this. I think.Much love.BLAHBLAHBLAH(It's comments like this that make you not let us send anony comments, huh?)
kjax - Well darling. As I live and breathe. And to think you returned to share your Nigerian wealth with me. It's just too sweet. Ummm - exactly how many US Dollars is 50brazillion dollars anyway?
Sher,If I knew even one famous person, I'd call for you. In college, I took a photojournalism class and one of the actual assignments was to take a photo of a famous person. I was like, are you kidding? This is Boston. Famous people don't hang out here. In desperation, I went to see Mike Wallace give a talk and took a picture of him as he wiped his glasses with a cloth.And Pauly Shore stepped on my foot once, and I accidentally on purpose bumped my shoulder into Bernie Woolley, the trainer of Mine That Bird, at the Belmont Stakes.If I get anywhere with any of these people, I swear to God I'll hook you up.
And can I say that the word verification code for that comment was "prock"? Google is just so sick.
Jen - please put a call into Pauly Shore and Mike Wallace at your earliest convenience. I'll take whatever I can get. Thanks for reading!!!
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