Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Dear Match.com gods,
Sixty-two people viewed my profile, seven found me worthy, two IM'd me, and one emailed me.
I'm a bona-fide hot mama.
Here is today's report. I want so badly to copy and paste their pics for your viewing pleasure, but I'm afraid they'd find me somehow and stab me in the vulva.
(In their own words...)
Meet cutoff-sleeves guy:
He has a smoking mustache that goes almost to his knees, and although I can't quite read the tat he's rockin', I think it is some kind of Satanic symbol - or a tractor. He wants us to "get a lil mud on the tires." He is trustworthy, he likes to hunt, and he's not looking for a maid. The good news is he's not rich. The better news is, he's far from perfect or else he wouldn't be on here.
Meet weird socks guy:
He says he's 50. I think he meant 62.
He's looking for a lover. I know this because he used the word more than anyone ever uses the word. He is an easy going of an individual, and he's been told his best attribute is his heart. I'm guessing he and his cardiologist are tight.
Meet my favorite pick of the day - Guy who appears to have Photoshopped some exceptionally ugly children in his pic. But it's not his insatiable desire to be a pretend father that makes me want him. It's the pic of him standing in what appears to be his living room - or the lobby of a nursing home. Behind him, on the far wall, a Billy Big Mouth Bass. Yes kids, a singing fish.
A singing fish.