I'm 53 today.
That was a lie and you know I can't lie to you when you look at me like that. I'm actually 43 today, but if I tell everyone I'm celebrating 53, they'll all say, "Wow! You look at least 10 years younger".
So I'm 53 today. Feel free to discuss my much younger looking self among yourselves.
It will be a regular day for me. No balloons will be blown, streamers strung or cakes lit on fire on my behalf. I may put some Engelbert Humperdinck on the hi-fi later and tap dance, but I can be found doing that just about any day of the week.
So far this morning, no one has remembered it's my birthday. In Mr. Man's defense, he's still a cripple because his back surgery didn't work out too well and so he can't even remember how to pick up his socks half the time.
The Evil Red-Headed Berta Lou is away at training for her law enforcement employment, so I won't see my best friend on this the day of my birth anniversary. She has however asked me to keep May 5th free on my busy social calendar so that she and I might celebrate my birthday.
The Evil BL still thinks she is going to force me to bowl for my birthday, so clearly she secretly hates me. I am standing firm on my "no wearing other people's gross shoes" policy, but as I am a good friend who is supportive of those I love, I will go to the bowling alley (the name really sums it up, doesn't it?) and cheer on my friend while I pretend to have a good time.
Of course, I will spend most of my evening drenching anyone and anything that comes near me in Germ-X, but in between all that I will fake birthday joy.
I'd better get going now. Although I can find no legitimate reason why the world should not enjoy a federal 4-24 holiday, work awaits.
My present to me....
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