In the process of accomplishing said house cleaning, I found a bunch of stuff I forgot I had and some stuff I couldn't even identify. That's precisely why experts say you should never watch the Home Shopping Channel while under the influence of grown up beverages or leafy, green vegetation.
For example, does anyone know what in the name of all that is plastic this thing is?
It's about four inches long and in fact not a safety pin for a giant baby diaper, as I first thought. I've shown it to everyone I know and they have no idea.
By everyone I know, of course I mean nobody but Mr. Man.
So what the heck is it? If you know, AND you tell me, AND you have the power to make me believe you, I may or may not actually send it to you via US mail. Depends on my mood and whether I believe you to be a terrorist who might use it to blow something up. (Or Bill O'Reilly. I hate Bill O'Reilly.)
FYI, ACME travel penis measuring device has been taken.
Copyright © 2004-2007, Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.
Tell me you love me at: HumorWriter@gmail.com
Tell me you hate me at: Yeah. I'm so sure I'm going to make that easy for you.
Blogroll Me!
18 comments:
A shoehorn?
You know, when you put it in your shoe, it toots.
Duh, I happen to know it's a "thig-a-ma-jig" however, some may argue that it really is a "wha-cha-ma-call-it" *wink*
Stacy & Nancy,
Both well thought out and highly scientific answers. You may be right.
Shower curtain hook.
Do I move up any?
So that's where that thing is! I've been looking everywhere!
It's caption contest time again, Sher. Time to dredge up another phenomenal entry.
Hey, can I have my dishwasher safe nipple clamp back?
Thanks so much.
Yeah, It's a shower curtain ring OK. TSG obviously knows more about bathroom equipment than he does women. Don't send it to him, just bring it to Toad Suck Daze, and we can arm wrestle for it (LOL)
TSG,
That's it? Shower curtain ring??? And you wanna be one of MY husbands?
Diesel,
I'll dredge momentarily.
Mist1,
That sounds entirely reasonable to me.
AA,
I'm not much of an arm wrestler, but I share your surprise at TSG's answer. Maybe I should move him down the husband list a little.
Sorry for the unimaginative answer, but what can I say? That is what it is from where I sit. In fact I can see some from where sit. Since I don't have a shower curtain in the old RollaHome and the hooks are just hanging on the rod. So (and I don't want to seem unappreciative here) you won't need to consider sending it to me. You could bring it to Toad Suck Daze 5/4-5/6 this year but don't let ArkansasAnnie get hold of it. She might blow something up with it. Come to thing It might be to clip your pouch of Beechnut to your bibs though.
It is a bottle opener for bottles and jars with screw top lids.
Place the appropriate sized hole over the cap, squeeze and turn.
Very handy. Like me.
I think it's an alien probe. No, I KNOW it's an alien probe! Run!!
Happy Easter or Passover, Sher!
It's a key holder. You open it up somehow or other and put keys on it. Or a nose ring. Maybe. But don't throw it away...you might need it sometime...:)
TSG,
I think the Beechnut thing is probably pretty close.
Alpha Dude,
It would have to be a tiny jar and I would have to be a big weenie that I couldn't open it... so I'm thinking no. I do not question your handiness, however.
Dan,
Spoken like someone whose been probed before. (Happy Easter/Passover/Spring to you, too!)
Just me,
Key ring? That's a lot of keys. Nose ring? Probably.
Too small to open the cap on a 2-litre bottle of soda?
Hmmmmm......
Well then, I dunno.
Bottle of soda???? Maybe! Could their be such a tool??? Dare I try it?
You're all wrong! It's the exclamation point from the "Ron Popiel Handy Pocket-Sized Portable Punctuation Kit." I've got two. I really think you should carry it around and when you want to exclaim without actually yelling, whip that baby out.
You have no idea how often I've thought to myself, "Gee, I'd really love to exclaim right now but I don't wanna yell."
Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have our winner.
Post a Comment