I've been in a demented cry baby/serial killer mood lately. One minute I feel as if I could blow snot bubbles and the next I'm whispering thinly veiled threats in my dog's ear if he doesn't agree to stop chewing with his mouth open.
I've decided that if I am to ever crawl off this pitty pot I have settled upon, I must force myself to think/say/write only happy things so that I might put out good vibes into the universe and get only happy things back.
You know. Stuff like butterflies and fairies and fresh babies and all that crap.
(Fresh babies are highly superior to stale ones. Nothing worse than a stale baby.)
Toward that end, here are the top five things that have actually made me happy today, so listen up universe and prepare to start sending me the good stuff you keep in the back.
1. The Big Dog had a great birthday and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy. He went to his Dad's a little bit ago for even more birthday hullabaloo which means I get to lie in bed at 7PM and write. I like lying in bed at 7PM.
2. Saying hullabaloo feels pretty fantabulous. It sounds like something Sammy Davis Jr. was trying to prevent when he and Peter Lawford were burying a prostitute The Chairman accidentally offed after a night of good natured drunken rabble-rousing.
3. Pictures of monkeys doing things that no one has ever seen them do in the wild fills me with joy. Let's face it. Monkeys who dwell in the jungle almost never wear pants and juggle.
(Photo courtesy of my stalker, Toad Suck Guy.)
4. Things that are shiny make me crazy happy. I can sit and stare at Mr. Man's head for hours.
5. Knowing a birthday cake is chillin' in my refrigerator truly causes delight to bust out all over my face. I hate cake, but God only invented the actual cakey part so chicks like me wouldn't have to feel bad about themselves for having to eat frosting right out of the can. Under the kitchen table. While softly sobbing.
Here's something else that puts fairy wings in my tummy. Drunk Stewie is the best.
Copyright © 2004-2007, Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.
Tell me you love me at: HumorWriter@gmail.com
Tell me you hate me at: Yeah. I'm so sure I'm going to make that easy for you.