I'm stoned. Wait a minute. I didn't mean to say stoned. I meant to say I'm stoned.
I woke up unwell this morning and in a great deal of pain. I won't go into the details here, but I thought perhaps I might die right away. I am still not convinced that I won't wake up dead in the morning. I hope not though because I don't have any make-up on.
In an effort to keep me from screaming out in pain, or talking, or being awake, Mr. Man gave me drugs. Legal drugs I think, but still drugs. I have been loopie ever since and even as I write, I still have pain...but I could care less.
A big shout out to Big Pharm for all the good work you do.
I've slept a lot today and that's quite unusual for me. In between long naps during which I dream about having arm surgery to make them shorter, I've been sitting around the house petting an imaginary ferret. The good news is I am at least coherent enough to realize my furry friend isn't real. The better news is I'm wasted enough to continue to pet him.
Such a pretty kitty.
My thinking is a little askew and despite my altered state, I know it. For instance, never before in my life have I felt I learned an important lesson about relationships during an episode of Gunsmoke. When I saw the way Festus looked at Lilly Munster, despite her ashen skin and all the crazy schemes she and her friend Ethel cooked up, I knew I was forever changed.
A big shout out to TV Land for all the good work you do.
Have you ever noticed what a weird word "do" is? Do.
Do, do do.
Do rhymes with moo which rhymes with you and blickety-blue. Perhaps I should give the exciting and fast paced world of poem writing a try as it seems I have a natural talent. I can't believe I never noticed that before. It's like I was a poet and yet I did not know it.
There I go again. I guess you either have it or you don't and it is crystal clear to me now that I have a lot of it.
I'd love to hang around and rhyme more words for your poem enjoyment, but I am beginning to feel more pain and so sadly, I must take another dose of my completely legal but totally awesome medication. Besides, the ferret has to go potty and if I don't let him out now, he'll keep me awake all night.
Copyright © 2004-2007, Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.
Tell me you love me at: HumorWriter@gmail.com
Tell me you hate me at: Yeah. I'm so sure I'm going to make that easy for you.