Friday, January 11, 2008

Monkeys make everything better. Let's cross stitch that on something.

Dear Sher,

What the hell?

Dear Question Asker who tires of typing after only one short sentence,

Um. Is this a riddle? Cuz I suck at riddles. I'll give it a shot anyway. I'm gonna say four. Yep, four. Definitely four. It's four, right?

Dear Sher,

How ya doing Lady?

Dear Lionel Richie,

Pretty good. No wait a minute. Make that really good. Like crazy, insanely good. Heavy on the insanely.

Dear Sher,

hi, my name is S* Smith, i was wondering how old you were, and i was wondering why you put 2 children that you know of on your about you list. And seeing if you ever had a daughter by the name of ********! about 15-16 years old!

Dear How's that now?

Of all the email I've ever, ever received in my entire long-legged life...and I do mean ever, ever, ever... this is my most favorite. I admit I have done a lot of things I do not remember (and by things, I mean marriages), but I can say with some authority that I clearly recall each and every birth in which I was the birther. (I think.)

Dear Sher,

Thanks so much for what you do. I just love your blog and I'm still reading it all. I can't wait to read more about you.

Dear Lover of the Blog,


Wanna read more about me, huh? Here's something: I'm a messy tooth brusher. Seriously. When I brush my teeth I look like a rabid dog. Plus it takes me a really long time. That'll learn you.

Dear Sher,

just wanted to say I love ya!!!! Even though you don't have time for me anymore....

Dear Big Fella,

So you love me even though I no longer have time for you? That sounds like a marriage proposal to me. I'll see you at the alter in June. That's my next available opening.

Dear Sher,


I don't know if your local newspaper runs the Garfield comic strip or
if you even read the comics ... or the newspaper for that matter.
Whatever the case, I saw the attached cartoon in yesterday's paper here
and immediately thought of you.


Dear Winner of the Coveted Best Person in the Whole Big World Award,

You are the best person in the whole, big world. Anyone who takes the time to send me an email monkey is automatically in my will. Congratulations on the new Hi-Fi that'll be making it's way to you in about 100 years. (I plan on living a long, long time.)





Copyright © 2004-2008, Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Tell me you love me at: HumorWriter@gmail.com

Tell me you hate me at: Yeah. I'm so sure I'm going to make that easy for you.

Blogroll Me!


Add to My Yahoo!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So very glad you are back and have not been kidnapped!
I missed you.

Art said...

Maybe, she would like to be kidnapped. You just never know with this one!

Sher, knowing your craft ability you would most likely end up with a cross stitch that says, "Mondays make everything better", or perhaps, "Monkeys make everyone butter". I guess the point is, don't try anything crafty.

Jami said...

Since a Hi-Fi will be about the size of a grain of dust in 100 years, how will they ever know you sent it to them? Oh, wait ... I see! ("Of course I'm sure I sent you a Hi-Fi! Did you open the envelope in a dust-free environment? Then you lost it!")

Sherri said...

Bunn,

Thanks! It's always nice to hear people are glad I've not been kidnapped.

Art,

You're walking around in my head, aren't you?

Jami,

Holy crap. What does our future hold that giant pieces of outdated electronics shrink to nothingness??? Now I'm freaking.

Anonymous said...

Sher- when you get the chance, check out the comments on my blog about de-lurking...

(ha ha ha ...my word verification is "vigme", why can't it be "biteme"???