Sunday, April 20, 2008

30 bazillion firefighters beats 70 virgins anyday

Dear Sher,

Funny column, I however can't relate, not having one (I can't write Vagina in an e-mail, my wife disaproves)

I have had many awkward moments though. A doctor took a possibly malignant mole off my backside while his female assistant observed. The mole was benign, Yay. I was horrified.

Oh, and I was once shot at by the Amish. True story. But I like to think that was an accident.

(not a wealthy jackass)

Dear Rich who is not a wealthy jackass,

I have never, ever....not once in my life, not even in the throws of passion, had these words said to me, "I was once shot by the Amish."

That's awesome.

Sher (not the kind that married a tiny, old man who couldn't sing.)

Dear Sher,

Just wanted to let you know that I was in Indy this past weekend, and while that may not send shivers up your spine the fact that there were 30 bazillion firemen from all over the country in Indy this past weekend may.

So, neener neener neener!!!!!

Dear Triple Neener,

Thirty bazillion firefighters. Sweet lord, sweet lord. What exactly are you doing in life that makes God believe you deserve something like that? Homeless sock knitting? Taking in stray wolverines? Telling ugly people they are pretty?

I hate you. And not in a good way, either.

Sher (I still hate you and not like I hate lima beans, either. It's more like I hate those disgusting Croc shoes. Yeah. That kind of hate.)


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