Mr. Man said to me earlier that he would give his left nut for a German chocolate cake. Made with real Germans of course, just like Momma used to make.
This statement got me thinking - why are men always bargaining for things with their left nut? Maybe I should qualify that statement by asking why are classy men like my beloved husband always referencing their left nut?
I decided to investigate.
"What is the deal with your left nut?" Of course it is for my deep and probing questions that I am widely known as a world class investigator.
What followed was a glorious explanation of the true value of a man's left testicle such as the world has never heard.
"You see my Dear, when a man comments that he would exchange his left nut for something, it means that thing must surely have tremendous and intrinsic value. For to give up the left nut is to give up something of oneself that is far and above any other sacrifice."
My husband or Julius Caesar? You decide.
"Thank you for the eloquent soliloquy about your testicle," I said. "However, I have personally heard you make the statement that you would give your left nut for the Three Stooges on VHS."
Which begged the question, what exactly is nut worthy?
According to him, Tina Fey is left nut worthy. So is a cold beer on a hot day, no interruptions during a football game, and the ability to be naked in the living room on a Saturday afternoon. If all three could be achieved at once, he would lop his manly lefty off himself with a dull butter knife.
In closing, let me just say this: FREE TO GOOD HOME : all my living room furniture. (I went to the grocery store last weekend.)
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