Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Delaying Your Gratification

(Note to reader: we are taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming - Interview with a Bunch of Guys I Tricked, but will return and with flourish in the days to come. Why? Because my ovaries hurt.)

Yesterday was a banner day for the OCD chick. First of all, there was leftover Chinese food so I had the distinct pleasure of having Mongolian Beef for breakfast. Yes it smelled so bad that one of the two Yorkie brothers buried his head under the sofa cushions. Yes it made me sick only a matter of 4 minutes later.

But still. It's the breakfast of Chinese champions.

Second, the wind in Kansas was about 400 miles per hour. That may not sound like a good thing to you, but I'm sort of in love with Kansas wind...so long as the wind is not shaped like a funnel. I like the sound very much. I also like that I have a valid excuse not to do my hair for approximately 2 months. I hate hair doing in all forms but save for the windy season, I succumb to peer pressure and do it anyway.

But the bestest of the best things to happen yesterday is that a key piece of a new venture in which I'm participating was put into place. If that sounds vague, please don't adjust your hearing aid. It is vague.

Ambiguous even.

I will say this much: I am going to be writing with an ensemble cast featuring two other women who are better than me in every way. They are blond and gorgeous and funny and smart and they never eat Chinese food for breakfast. (Although I would like them more if they did.)

This is a big deal kids and because of my deep and abiding love for you, I wanted you to be the first to know.

Right behind the Yorkie brothers, Mr. Man, the lady who answers the phone at Wong Pow's, my gynecologist, the guy who sold me my new tires, the fire baton repairman, the twenty-one year old guy I tried to cougar up on, my second cousin twice removed (from our family reunions because she has no teeth and we can't stand to watch her eat) and Dick Cheney.

He tortured me. You would have done the same thing.

If you don't BLIP.fm kids,I can't be your friend anymore. Jeez. What are you waiting for?

Here's your song for the day by Lily Allen. Be forewarned - they are singing a very bad word that the OCD chick never says in this blog so send the kids outside before listening. I'd like to dedicate it to the person who made me mad yesterday. You suck.

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Tidewaterbound said...

Can't wait for all the news that is news Sher

TSG said...

I'll have to admit I was feeling sorry for poor old Smythe for a short time. Then when I saw the his despicable treatment of the beautiful Humor Columnist and he had the audacity to boast, and publish a photo of her in a straight jacket, well, it made my blood boil. If you interview him again don't let him off so easy.

Plus I think he's lying. A hot chick like that. Seven years? I think she may have let him light her batons more than he's letting on.

I've got my eye on Smythe.


Sher said...

Tide - Woo-hoo! Big news soon to arrive!

TSG - Thank God you're here. A girl is not safe without her stalker stalking and protecting.

Smythe Livingston said...

I've been waiting, but no cute girls have written to me.
Guess there's no hope.
I'm going back to my dead rodents, and my toad.


Tidewaterbound said...

yep, really delayed...LOL