Midlife Skydiving, Baby! Sherri Bailey SKYDIVES!

 Forty-five has never felt sooooo good!!!! Have you been skydiving? Do you want to?




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

Skydiving for the First Time.

This is the face I make mere moments before I jump out of an airplane for the first time with a gorgeous man (named Aaron) strapped to my back. I have decided that fear of impending and immediate death makes me look like my Grandmother on my Father's side, except not as pretty.

At the very moment this shot was snapped, I was looking out the "door" and realizing I was high in the sky and in a very short time, I was going to be asked to step outside into the sky. I found this disturbing.

This is my camera man who jumped moments before I did. He was Australian and the way he said my name, "Shurry," made me want to have his Australian babies. Had I not already been in a committed skydiving strap relationship with Aaron, we would be married right now.

See the leg in the purple jumpsuit with the Black Sketcher on the end? That's my leg. This was a millisecond after jumping. You should know that the term "jumping" is not nearly as accurate a word as "pushing."

Aaron pushed. My only job to get myself from inside the plane with my toes on the edge and nothing between me and the Earth but air, was to lean back into Aaron and allow him to push us out into the sky. Just that act alone - the act of folding my arms across my chest and laying my head back onto his shoulder knowing full well that I was surrendering to whatever came next - THAT was huge for me. As a woman with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, control is a precious companion. Giving that control to Aaron was powerful.

This is the face I make when I have experienced, in a matter of seconds mind you, what freedom feels like. Freedom from fear; freedom from expectations; freedom from OCD; freedom from who I believed myself to be.

When I first saw this picture, I saw someone else for a moment. The Sher I have known these 45 years was incapable of such a smile.

So skydiving for the first time, then. What do I think of sky diving for the very first time? For myself, I found it therapeutic in a way that defies explanation... at least a really good one. When I left Kansas to go to Florida to do this, I left in fear. Much was going on that terrified me. A mad man wanted to hurt me; most of my friends and family felt I'd never be able to actually make the jump; and pretty much everything in my world with the exception of my love for my kids, was shifting and moving and feeling very scary.

But in the six or seven minutes it took me to fall from that plane back to the ground, I threw off all of it. I wasn't making conscious choices to release it, of course. Looking down and around and across what was below me and feeling the rush of wind on my face and body - nothing mattered. Only that very moment. Only trying to swallow whole everything around me.

For me, skydiving was symbolic in every little way. I can do this now. I got this.

Swallowing whole one little moment at a time.

Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

My Will - Cause I've Got a Lot of Awesome Stuff

This evening I will drive north to sleep in a place near the airport and in the morning, I fly away to the land of Flinging Myself Out of an Airplane. That's right my pretty readers, I skydive Friday.

Just in case I have a heart attack on the way down, or worse, I pee my pants and am so embarrassed I am forced to fake my own death, here's my last will and testament. Yes - I am of sound mind, but also a little stoned on Ibuprofen and enough Diet Dr. Pepper to make a lab rat grow a third ear - on it's genitals.

1. To my friends Tide & TSG - I leave everything in my bank account. You guys have been loyal readers, fans and friends for so long, I can't remember when you weren't here. If I don't buy any gum or bouncy balls prior to being dead, you kids are totally going to split a Snickers bar. 
2. To Vicky - You are a force to be reckoned with and I reckon I am infinitely lucky to have you in my corner. Were it not for you and your door kicking, I wouldn't be strapping a man to my back and jumping from a plane. To you I leave some of my most precious possessions - my false eyelashes. Every time someone swats at what they believe to be a sleeping caterpillar on your eyeball, remember me. 
3. To Phil - my GooglyEyes - I don't understand how people without a googlyeyes in their lives can even make themselves a sandwich. For your constant encouragement and wise council, I leave my collection of divorce agreements. Naturally the Smithsonian will want them, but unless they offer you enough to buy The Met, just hold onto them. They will only increase in value.
   
4. To Ry - I know how inconvenienced my untimely death will leave you and how selfish it is of me to drop dead - literally. Therefore I leave to you the bust I created in your likeness made of gum, and tears, and Crest Whitestrips. That's not weird.
5. To KK - I leave you all my Clorox Wipes & Purell Hand Sanitizers. I'm sorry that they won't last very long. I only have one closet full. 
6. To Brooke & Rachel - my Viva la Vulva DooWop Girls - My secret list of potential and future husbands along with contact information and detailed schematics laying out how you get them to marry you... that's what you're getting. You deserve it! Sorry though - my divorce punch card is full so you'll have to start your own. 
   
7. To my Midlife Road Trip friends and family - you people get NOTHING. Not one dang thing. You know good and well you shouldn't have let me pull this crazy stunt! What kind of friends are you anyway?

Watch for pictures and film coming soon. I'm almost positive I'll be jumping fully clothed, so I'll make sure you get to see it. In the meantime, check out our friends at MainSail Tampa.They are our generous hosts for this shoot and we are excited to post lots of pictures of their extraordinary property.




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

The OCD Chick vs. A Perfectly Good Plane

Someone wants me to jump out of a plane for fun and profit. Because I am a weak woman who will do most anything for fun and profit, I am going to do as I'm asked.

Will I be terrified?

In the words of Whitney Houston, "BOBBY!!!" (aka - hell to the yes.)

Will I quite likely blanket Cleveland with vomit on the way down?

I'm gonna say that is in fact probable.

Apparently I will show up, learn to cross my arms over my chest and also to stop, drop & roll at which point some random parachute guy will strap himself to my back and shove me out a plane.

At least that's what Uncle Google told me last night.

All I ask before possibly spitting out my spleen in terror is five minutes of good, solid interviewing of said random guy before he does what so many before him have done to me - (you go ahead and fill in the rest of that sentence as I know you already have anyway.)

Hey Parachute Boy... Have you done anything recently that might have angered God? Have you taken the Lord's name in vain? Have you coveted your neighbor's ass? What about your mother and father? Would they say you are a good boy who honors them, or would they say they're sick and tired of loaning you money and it's time for you to grow the hell up and get off their couch?

Tell me about your love life. Do you like the ladies? Have one special woman to whom you are faithful and loyal, or do you find chicks dig boys who strap themselves to their backs? Have you had the intercourse lately and if so, did you call out the correct name?

What about life insurance? How much is your policy and who is the beneficiary? Does said beneficiary have any sort of gambling problem or hang out with a guy named Fat Jimmy or Knuckles McKiller?

And finally, are you in any way associated with Jon Gosselin? Have you met him, spoken to him, been within 100 feet of him, touched the hem of his Ed Hardy T-shirt? As he is the root of all evil, I cannot take the chance that the bad voodoo he's got all over him might have stuck to you and will therefore condemn us both to certain death.

Provided Parachute Boy does well in my interrogation, I'll let him hug me tight and fly with me. For fun and profit. And what not.




Copyright © Sherri Bailey
This blog may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.